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#introductions 

I became Catholic in 2012, after having resisted for over a decade. I'm a philosophy nerd, a science/technology nerd, an early music lover, a soprano, a bassoonist, an artist, and a writer. Not necessarily in that order.

I would have continued resisting Catholicism as an option if not for my husband, who refused to marry me if I wouldn't at least consider it.

We don't have any children, and this isn't anyone's fault. We may have considered adoption if we weren't mired in the care of elderly relatives, which consumes a good deal of our time and energy.

I don't always think to tell people things about myself, but I'm always willing to answer questions people ask about me.

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Christ is quite clear in the synoptic gospels that you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven unless you are poor or you give away your wealth (and without making a show of it, at that.)

Just the daily reminder that Jesus Christ is not a Capitalist and a pro-wealth reading of Christ is a weak reinterpretation.

Numquam possum facere tamquam volo facere. 😩

Hostias tibi, Domine, quas nomini tuo sacrandas offerimus, sancti Matthiae Apostoli tui prosequatur oratio: per quam nos expiari facias, et defendi. Per Dominum.

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If you don’t know this, you need to know this. If you know it, you need to review it. The knowledge can save someone’s life.

There are two types of stroke: Ischemic and Hemorrhagic. Each presents differently. Each can be severely debilitating or deadly.

Approximately 90% of all strokes are ischemic. A clot gets lodged in an artery in the brain, cutting off blood supply to the brain tissue.

Most ischemic strokes follow a similar pattern, often described with the acronym FAST. ‘F’ stands for facial droop on one side of the face; ‘A’ stands for arm weakness (ask the person to raise both arms in front of them, palms up. One arm will drift downward with gravity); ‘S’ is for slurred speech. The ‘T’ stands for Time. Call 911. The sooner you get the person to emergency care the less brain tissue will die. Emergency Care means a hospital – not an urgent care clinic.

The second type of stroke, this one accounting for approximately 10% of all strokes, is a hemorrhagic stroke. That occurs with a blood vessel in the brain bursts (an aneurysm). The CLASSIC symptom of a hemorrhagic stroke is the complaint of “The worst headache in my life.”

Don’t miss those words. Take them very seriously. The patient might describe the headache as sharp or aching. My wife described hers as a tremendous pressure inside her head. (She survived quite well, thank God).

Sometimes the pain might subside a little so that it is no longer excruciating. Thus, the person might feel that he or she is getting better.

THEY ARE NOT GETTING BETTER. Call 911 and get the person to the nearest Emergency Department (not an urgent care clinic). As with an ischemic stroke, TIME equals brain tissue.

If the person resists going to the Emergency Department for whatever reason, you must INSIST they go. Remember, the longer the person with the ischemic or hemorrhagic stroke waits before treatment, the worse the outcome will be.

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Adesto, Domine, supplicationibus nostris, quas in Sanctorum tuorum commemoratione deferimus: ut, qui nostrae justitiae fiduciam non habemus, eorum qui tibi placuerunt, meritis adjuvemur. Per Dominum.

Ave maris stella,
Dei Mater alma,
Atque semper Virgo,
Felix caeli porta.

Sumens illud Ave
Gabrielis ore,
Funda nos in pace,
Mutans Hevae nomen.

Solve vincla reis,
Profer lumen caecis:
Mala nostra pelle,
Bona cuncta posce.

Monstra te esse matrem:
Sumat per te preces,
Qui pro nobis natus,
Tulit esse tuus.

Virgo singularis,
Inter omnes mitis,
Nos culpis solutos,
Mites fac et castos.

Vitam praesta puram,
Iter para tutum:
Ut videntes Jesum,
Semper collaetemur.

Sit laus Deo Patri,
Summo Christo decus,
Spiritui Sancto,
Tribus honor tuus.

Deus, qui animam beatae Virginis tuae Scholasticae, ad ostendendam innocentiae viam, in columbae specie caelum penetrare fecisti: da nobis ejus meritis et precibus ita innocenter vivere; ut ad aeterna mereamur gaudia pervenire. Per Dominum.

I have just entirely upended my work schedule yet again. At least now I can go to daily Mass, which feels pretty awesome.

"I will think of this new year as a white page given to me by Your Father, on which He will write, day by day, whatever His divine good pleasure has planned. I shall now write at the top of the page, with complete confidence: Domine, fac de me sicut vis, Lord, do with me what You will, and at the bottom I already write my Amen to all the proposals of Your divine will. Yes Lord, yes to all the joys, the sorrows, the graces, the hardships prepared for me, which You will reveal to me day by day. Grant that my Amen may be the Paschal Amen, always followed by the Alleluia, uttered wholeheartedly, in the joy of a complete gift. Give me Your love and Your grace, and I shall be rich enough."
- Sr. Carmela of the Holy Spirit, OCD

This is the worst week of the entire year to be someone who always wanted a family of their own but was never blessed with one.

When I say "I was 11 or 12" that means "it was the early 1990s"

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I remember when I first read the passage in Luke 23 that says "for indeed, the days are coming when people will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed.’"

I was probably 11 or 12 and I instantly thought, "But they say that now."

This blog post is 10 years old but still seems relevant. blog.adw.org/2010/04/a-more-aw

Magnificat anima mea Dominum:
et exsultāvit spīritus meus in Deō salūtārī meō.
Quia rēspexit humilitātem ancillæ suæ:
ecce enim ex hōc beātam mē dīcent omnēs generātiōnēs,
quia fēcit mihi magna quī potēns est:
et sānctum nōmen ejus,
et misericordia ejus ā prōgeniē in prōgeniēs
timentibus eum.
Fēcit potentiam in brāchiō suō:
dispersit superbōs mente cordis suī.
Dēposuit potentēs dē sēde,
et exaltāvit humilēs.
Ēsurientēs implēvit bonīs:
et dīvitēs dīmīsit inānēs.
Suscēpit Isrāēl puerum suum,
recordātus misericordiæ suæ:
sīcut locūtus est ad patrēs nostrōs,
Ābrahām et sēminī ejus in sæcula.

I keep thinking about that one time (on another site) that someone replied to me something like "a child is a gift, and you can't demand to receive gifts" - her profile picture was of her cradling a newborn.

More being called out: "she shall be saved in childbearing" from 1 Timothy 2:15.

I really don't understand. I did everything as well as I could. I did everything I was told to do. I *wanted* to get married young and have lots of children. Every man I met thought I was crazy for wanting this. I don't see how it could possibly be my fault that it didn't happen for me.

Every time I read Vespers in the Little Office of the BVM I feel called out.

"[The Lord, w]ho maketh the barren woman to dwell in her house, the joyful mother of children."

and

"Lo, children are an heritage from the Lord, and the fruit of the womb a reward."

I'll be 40 next April.

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